Missing Lattice..

I walked through the barren lands, beyond the barbed wires and broken fences. ..


And there stood a church which was once full….Full of people, full of wonderful Sunday dresses, full of gossip, full of faith, Full of blasphemy- well present, but ignored…


That’s how I know this place. I had abandoned it, many a summer ago – in a search for a better life..


Now, I was back to this same place, the same fork in the road, and I was greeted half-heartedly by the same church. Only, nothing was the same anymore. 


Vultures perched on the broken fences, where happy squirrels used to scamper before. The beautiful flower garden was replaced by a bunch of cobwebs. The orange-red autumn leaves, which once brought warmth here, now made it look spooky. 


I walked in to examine the god-forsaken place. There wasn’t a sound, not even a priest. The alter looked like a stage after a poorly performed play. And the most important area of the church, which was never found empty…which was always full of army wives, alcoholics, the poor, the diseased, the widowed,….was shockingly abandoned.  Yes, the confessional- the busiest corner of the church. 


To me, the idea of confessing has always been intriguing. Does admitting one’s mistake change anything in the big picture..?  Does that little wooden box with a lattice—wait! The lattice is missing. Now that explains a lot. Now I know why the church had been abandoned. Now I know why no one came.  The favorite motivational corner for everyone was gone…and so was their faith.. Fancy a church without a fully functional confessional!


I believe strongly in the goodness of life and things. And I cannot accept that we can wash our hands of all that we have said and done in the past, just be putting them in words and have someone to hear them out. Boy, do I envy the priest’s job then!


But today, a church has proved me wrong. I see the light, not by divine intervention, but by embracing that there isn't much as evil as divinity.


Just the lack of a lattice that makes one’s face not-so hidden from the priest anymore right?  (And yes! You think the priest doesn’t recognize your voice, by now? Nicely done dear! ). You really believe in safety? 


Religion has forever bound us in its clutches, blinded us, hoodwinked us, even divided us. I’ve heard this said before: what nourishes us, destroys us. Now I see it for real. Structured religion was started out to inculcate a fear, a discipline among the people. What started out as suitably dignified.. has blown up into a redundant burden.  A formality.  An evil concept, only good enough to mask the evil that people do.


Call me a skeptic (like that’s a bad thing!). But now I’ve realized what they mean when they say, every virtuous act is inspired by a dark secret. A confession never made. A missing lattice.