I really should be studying.

(I know I should be studying hard now. But your brain comes up with posts when you least expect it. And life, well, its kinda getting on my nerves…and I guess its somewhat the tone of my post too…I want a VACATION. NOW! Coz I’m not even getting time to marshal my thoughts..)

So more randoms from my side. Deal?

Here we go.

It seems like a radiant light is washing over me as I step into that surreal place flanked by here and beyond. I vigilantly step over that threshold. It’s beckoning me. It seduces me with its luminescence and creates a delusion of purity. It makes me speculate my beliefs. Every time I feel that I’m special. I think I’m beyond what I think my purpose is. To reach the light. But we all know that the light is a big sham. Everything lies. The light. The night. The world. That’s what we cling on to. Lies. We clutch on to it desperately even though it blatantly mocks at us. It never ends, does it?

Lies. They are like the soothing balms for the rotting wounds in our souls. The gaping wounds created by us when we lied to ourselves bout how great we are. Guess we are no special snowflake. Although we do wish we were. Then again, if everyone is special, who actually is? There you see, my friend. We are all a part of that dog pile.

So once again, all those beliefs that we have of ourselves, all those notions of brilliance we have, are they really what we think they’re worth? Do they really matter? They don’t. I don’t matter. You don’t matter. Nothing matters.

We are born. We live this life. It starts to get on our nerves. We wish we die. Then we do die. Then…NEXT!

So what do you think your life is? Green? Blue? Pink?

No sir. Sorry to dishearten you. Guess you’re just a side-effect of a dreadful acid-trip. Enjoy while your life lasts. And remember to ask for a refund when you go up there!


(P.S---- Sorry guys...I know I haven't been quite regular off late. And I'm sorry I haven't been visiting your blogs either....Lots of catching up to do...I'll try to be more regular once I'm done with my exams...
Keep Blogging!!)


(P.P.S--->  On a happier note!! I finally got 100 followers!!! And my sweetheart doing the honor of being my 100th! Thank you so much everyone! )

Jack and Jill

This is a tale about the life of Jill.

Well, you can’t call it a story, to be precise. Then again, Jill’s life wasn’t much of a life, to be honest.

Once upon a time, Jill met Jack. They weren’t brother and sister as the silly old nursery rhyme made us believe when we were kids. They were stupid, immature teenagers. And once again, they were NOT brother and sister. But that’s ok, coz Santa Claus, Big Foot and the Tooth Fairy still exist.

Jill was a valedictorian of the class of ’86 and Jack, well, he was a high school drop-out. With his unfair means he eventually became really very rich. They got married in due course. They had a wonderful mansion. It was decorated with beautiful lacy curtains, carpeted hardwood floors, a well maintained lawn, and they even had a washing machine! Soon, Jill gave birth to twin girls. It was a happy moment. But a short lived one. Jack ran off with the nurse who helped her deliver the twins.

But Jill, she was one strong willed person. She promised herself never to let her daughters miss having a father in their lives. She worked very hard. She took Josie to her gymnastics practice and Michelle to her ballet recitals. She was still very beautiful. She still could fit into her 28' pants from four years ago. She was in perfect shape. She went to church every Sunday. She knew God loved her.

One day, she was killed in a road accident. It was the driver’s mistake. He wasn’t drunk. But such accidents happen. Life is strange. Just like that.

It rained very heavily at her funeral. But she wasn’t affected. She was peaceful and dry in her Hardwood Mahogany coffin.

Jack never attended the funeral. He never came. But, the father of her twin girls did. He even brought her gorgeous flowers.

I guess, even posthumously, closure is closure.

The morals of her story are half chanced. So are everyone else’s.

Untitled

I don't know how to tell you what I'm going through right now...
Its said, the world revolves around money, my world revolves around you,
My life was in utter turmoil and you came and bandaged the broken and frayed person that I was,
You gave me my smile back....you gave me a reason to want to live again...
You are the reason I look forward to tomorrow...
You are the reason I left my sadness behind..
Whenever I hear your name, I cannot help smiling...
Nothing can replace that in my heart...
You are the reason why I write....
Now the sands of time seem to run out fast....and I really wish I could just freeze this moment..
I stay up late at night...hoping my day becomes longer in the process...
Its a futile attempt...
The sky is getting darker, but my thoughts are clear,
Being away from you, my love, is something I'll always fear,
But never did I expect, the truth was so near,
My promises are forever true, and are straight from my heart,
I yearn for a true tomorrow, where we are never apart....

Shoes..

I went back last night…

To the place you promised that I’ll always find you,

You said I could come there and be with you when I’m cold, confused and lonely.

I was none of that.

I just missed you.

And I had to return your pair of shoes. You had given it to me last summer.

I love the shoes, you know.

Comfortable.

I like how the laces are always curly.

I loved the neon shoe-strings.

I loved the marks of cigarette stubs under the sole.

I love the shoes.

But they are yours, right?

I really don’t know how I end up loving something that’s never mine.

More notably, what is yours.

But, if this isn’t yours, then I really don’t want it.

I guess that’s why I don’t know what to do with myself. Coz I’m not yours either.

I walked up the path that led to our castle you had built, with rotten wood,

But you weren’t there.

Not that I knocked to check. I just knew.

I carefully kept your shoes on the floor.

I didn’t place them on the rocking chair outside.

I was afraid that the chair will rock and the shoes will go to sleep.

And if they do, they’d dream.

And if they’d dream, they’d dream about us.

But those nice shoes…actually great shoes, would get hurt if they dream about something that can never happen.

I know how it feels when a dream shatters.

I’ve walked that lane before.

In your shoes.

But today, I’ll walk in mine.

So that I can finally realize what it feels to be myself.

So that I can finally grasp that it’s finally over.

So that I can move on.

Move on, in my own shoes.

They aren't very comfortable.

The laces don’t curl.

The shoe strings aren’t neon.

And they don’t have cigarette stubs under their sole.

I’ll learn to love them eventually.

And then one fine day, when the rotten wood perishes, and the rocking chair breaks due to the added burden of the lies you tell yourself,

When your door falls off its hinges in the anticipation of a knock,

When your shoes aren’t comfortable anymore,

You’ll finally learn to love them, to want them.

Till then, I say goodbye.

At least try to keep your shoes clean,

So what if your heart isn’t?

Nostalgia...

I’ve got nostalgic pavements,

I’ve got familiar faces,

I’ve got my mixed-up memories,

I’ve got my favorite places….

Time doesn’t mature us. Our memories do.

::Memories::

I guess that’s why we cling on to them so securely coz they last forever (Well, if you’re lucky, that is)..

They are like a mirage; So self-satisfied with its own beauty, they make you question its very essence.

Close your eyes. Think of your most beautiful memory. Drown in the nostalgia that envelopes you.

Smile at the plethora of sensations you feel now.

It may be the touch of raindrops against your palms,

Or you playing hide and seek with your imaginary friend,

Loads of laughs and giggles….and then a sudden silence…

A rather comforting silence. Coz you know the silence is going to be followed by a fresh round of giggles..

Don’t open your eyes. Let it all sink in. Transport yourself into your memories.

::Feel::

Don’t let nervousness or even advice take away the originality in you, your individuality.

You are your first responsibility.

:: Fulfill::

Pain is beautiful, if you let it contact your core.
For a body doesn’t feel pain, it only feels change, and interprets its aversion of the new into melancholy, if only physical.
Make love to your pain, but don't flounder.
Grow above your pain, but don't disregard it.
Dance to rhythm of your heartbeat, for you'll yearn for it when it's about to run out.
::Live::

There is just one truth, is the only truth.
Accept the certain fragments of it that you shy away from, for they reside a little away from your comfort zone.
Prices will soar.
Gadgets will malfunction.
Your heart will, at some point, (though I hope I'm wrong) break.
The neighbor’s lawn will be more maintained.
Your car will break down on a rainy day.

You will grow old,
And when you do,
All you will have to smile back at,
Even if that means revealing those fake teeth, intensifying those wrinkles and letting your nostalgia hold you tight till you breathe your last,
Are, your memories.
A reality, that was.
A reality, and just that.
A reality, even if it survives only in your dreams.
A reality, so self-satisfied with its own beauty, it makes you question its very essence.

My Sins against Gender-Stereotypes

Thank you Dip and Nikita for this awesome tag!


If you are a woman,

Have you ever wanted something that is considered ‘manly’ ? Like a basketball, a cell phone, a dog, a camera or a new laptop? A new car or motor bike? Ever wanted to be a pilot? A doctor or not a nurse? And the manliest want of them all – The remote! 

As a kid did you enjoy playing with a bat and a ball?

There was a time when books were considered ‘manly’, women authors had to pretend to be men – would you say books are still rather manly – women should want to embroider and crochet?

If you are a man,

Have you ever wanted something that only women are supposed to want – like bags, shoes, clothes, creams, perfumes, babies, flowers? A peaceful home and a happy family? Have you ever been afraid of the dark or of insects?

As a kid did you ever want to play ‘teacher-teacher’, cooking or did you like playing with a doll? Have you ever enjoyed cooking? Bought something in pink? Loved chocolates?

So here’s the tag – Please list at least ten things you have ever wanted or done which your gender is not supposed to.

The tag is called ‘My Sins against Gender-Stereotypes’. And you must tag twelve blogging friends  or else you will be cursed to wear blue clothes pants if you are a woman and pink shirts if you are a man – for next twelve years .

Here we go!

1. I follow football like crazy. I'm a big Manchester United fan. I end up watching most of their matches. 
P.S-- Watched almost all matches of FIFA '10 too!

2. I used to play cricket regularly as a kid. I played cricket with the big  boys in my colony. I was the only girl in their team!

3. I play Counter Strike almost everyday. Its my second nature now and I can make a guy cry with my string of wins!

4. I never had Barbie Dolls as a child. I was more of a G.I.Joe and Hot Wheels kinda child. I had a huge hot-wheels race track set! Loved it :D

5. I nearly sprained my younger brother's leg coz I was trying out a WWE stunt! I still watch WWE when I get a chance!


6. I Loooove Linkin Park, Green Day, Metallica and Muse!


7. I can skateboard and roller-blade like a pro! :)


8. I don't know whether this is manly or not, but I used to love Dragonball-Z, Ninja Robots, Swat Cats and the X-Men Series as a child!


9. I don't think its a guy thing, but I really love dogs! I want to build a house just for all my dogs! :)


10. I love all kinds of cars and bikes. The Lamborghini Diablo and the Ducati are my favorites! And I wish to ride a bike one day!


____________________________________________________


Since Harsha has challenged me to come up with 10 more! Here it is!


11. I had sideburns like Elvis when I was small. I used to be proud of it!


12. I once tried to put hair gel on my hair. (Turned out to be disastrous. Don't try this at home. I looked liked the wicked witch of the west!)


13. I used to be found only in sports shoes and floaters as a child..


14. I HATED wearing Indian traditional clothes because it made me look like a girl. A pair of t-shits and jeans and i'm happy! I still don't like wearing Indian traditionals now. But I've kinda made my peace with it.


15. I hate cooking. I know to cook. But I hate it! 


16. About 4-5 years ago, I used to wear mostly men's deo. Axe, Park Avenue, Musk, many more...


17. I hardly used to take an umbrella to school coz I thought it was girly for some reason. So I was always found in windcheaters. 


18. I hated wearing any kind of make-up until a few years back.


19. I once held the door open for my boyfriend. :D  (This was an honest mistake!) ;)


20. I love gadgets. Cellphones, Ipods, Laptops, Cameras, the works!




Now, I would like to tag people who haven't received the tag before.
1. Suruchi
2. Harsha
3. Pixie Dust
4. A.K
5. Arjun
6. Persis Shah
7. Carrie
8. Tamanna
9. sulagna ™ 
10. Ki
11. K-ay
12. Meher