To my brothers...

I see your innocence mirror my skepticism in those deep black eyes of yours. It brings a tear to mine. 

Where did I go wrong? How did I end up being the antithesis to your smile?

 I was once like you. I believed in nobility. I believed that there was good without a “catch”. 

How did I come to this stage?

I envy you. You find your happiness in a slice of pizza, a Tom and Jerry episode, you’ll wrestling with each other. 

I smile. But its fleeting. 

I laugh. But my laughter is adulterated with melancholy. 

I find myself surrounded by unexplained cynicism. I’m sure your life isn't perfect. But you really do make it seem like it is.

I wait with bated breath for the day you find your purpose. I’m still looking for mine and trust me, it isn’t easy. 

Every moment of my existence is laden with questions. Where am I? What do I do?  How do I make my existence mean something to you? For you know dear, I’m nothing if not living for you. 

My happiness is in your silly grin, your curly top. 

My serenity is in your bear hug, the music you make. 

My hope is watching you do something dynamic. 

My hopelessness is in your tears. 

My dread is in your insecurity. 

My pride is in your achievements. 

As much as I envy you, your immaturity and innocence, I love you with every fiber of my being. 

I just hope one day you see how much you guys mean to me. 

For now I’ll settle for late-night Green Day and Linkin Park concert marathons, football matches and pop-corn, random kicking and fighting for that last piece of cake and the last scoop of ice-cream and kicking you out of my room coz you’re playing football in it.

**Look at the stars. Look how they shine for you, and everything you do.**