Little Red goes Riding..!

On a blistering hot summer day, Miss Lola Reddy, also known as Little Red (mostly because she wore a trademark bright red mini skirt which complimented her sexy legs) was on her way to meet her best friend Janet who was admitted at Holy Cross hospital as she had contracted Malaria. Little red decided to go walking coz her sexy legs required some toning up.


She brushed her long black hair and applied mascara and lip-gloss, wore her red skirt and strutted her way in red high heels. On her way, she passed a Café Coffee Day. Outside the coffee shop were a group of notorious guys with their gang leader B.B Wolf. Now that particular coffee shop was a haven for all the “Chapris” of the area. You know what I’m talking about – the ones who are so full of themselves that just because they think they are God’s gift to women, everyone else should think so too. According to B.B wolf he was the ladies’ man! Like a wolf he eyed the young beauties in the neighborhood. And the answer to his success rate with women is – rich dad!


On spotting Lil’ Red strut her stuff across the street, he smiled menacingly. His prey had been spotted. Now to move in for the kill… Slowly he pulled up alongside her on his vintage Harley (typical old school guy!)

“Hey babe! Wanna ride of your lifetime?” he asked, with a sexy (according to him) grin on his face, his voice as smooth as velvet.

“Umm… I’m actually heading somewhere important” – Vroom! Vroom! Red was cut off by the revving of the Harley engine. He was really starting to annoy her. But the bike was AWESOME!

“Oh come on! I won’t sink my teeth into you. Let me at least drop you to where you’re headed.”

“I really shouldn’t. I’m in a big hurry…” and then she stopped talking.
Red had a smile on her face. She was checking him out and thinking something. You’ll come to know soon enough. She accepted his offer and hopped on to his ride.


Looking immensely pleased with himself, the Wolf rode his bike. Throughout the journey Wolf spoke only about himself (a very appealing topic in his opinion) while Red was rolling her eyes. Finally, they reached the hospital. Red couldn’t help but notice that Wolf was heavily loaded. Her eyes roamed over all his possessions – the latest cell phone, the funky Ray Ban aviators, an expensive looking wallet, a watch from Fossil- no doubt stuffed with loads of cash and of course, the Harley… too bad he was all style, no brains.


Wolf wasn’t too keen on letting Red go so easily and so, he eagerly offered to wait for her while she went up to visit her friend. At this, Red batted her mascara-ed eyelashes (works every time ladies!) and requested him to wait for around 10 minutes while she went and checked up on her friend. Wolf eagerly agreed and patiently waited for her…


When Red came back down, she flirtatiously suggested that they go to the nearby deserted park and spend a little time to get to know each other. Wolf’s excitement knew no bounds. So, to the park they went. However, he decided at the last minute to quickly go to the nearby florist and surprise Red with a few flowers. So she went to the park alone and waited for him. When he came back, he found a solitary figure, sitting among the bushes. He decided to play a little game…

“My, what beautiful eyes you have!”

“The better to see you with darling…”

He stepped a little closer… “What luscious lips you have baby!”

“To kiss you with sweetheart…”

He stepped even closer to Red and that was when something shiny caught his eye.

“Hey, what’s that in your hand?”

“It’s a knife and it’s perfect to rob you with baby!!!”


And Red whisked out a small but rather deadly looking knife and swiftly brought it to Wolf’s throat. Poor Wolf completely lost his head and tried to run away. However Red reacted faster and knocked him out. Red quickly took away his valuables and pocketed the keys to his Harley.

Red was never to be found after that…and poor Wolf got amnesia due to the blow to his head. Last I heard, he was still recovering in some classy hospital. However, I do hope, Red’s treating that Harley right!!


P.S. Reports claim that she had undergone plastic surgery to keep her identity discreet.
Here is her latest picture.

Yikes..!

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters restaurant.

The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom?"

The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."

"Well, in that case I'll just look the other way," said the nun.
So, the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.

She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?"

"But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "Every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out."

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe...

Love is.....

Hey guys...!! I'm in love with the 'love is' cartoon strips..! Here are some of my favorite ones....

LOVE IS...



when you can’t get him out of your mind.

LOVE IS...



toasting to celebrate the coming of spring.

LOVE IS...



“that super kiss” given at twelve o’clock on the New Year’s day.


LOVE IS....



bring out the best in each other.

LOVE IS...



the sun shining bright in a rainy day.

Maybe we are all just Earthlings...

Hey guys! After a long era of exams, I’m finally free with two whole months of vacations (Aww! I love my life!). Anyway, my idleness got me thinking about various things and eventually I got thinking about relationships.

Well, there are so many kinds of relationships- those which give a kick to your life, the old and familiar ones, the exotic ones, the ones which take you far away from where you started and those which pull you back to the starting line. And in this roller-coaster of life, if you find someone you love, then isn’t life fabulous?

When you were a child, life was all about having fun and playing pranks. Now that we are adults, we have turned into more cautious and careful beings. We think before we take that giant leap in life. Sometimes, we even refrain from taking that leap because there is no one at the other end to catch us. Well, I guess life was never made with a safety net. When did I grow up? When did life stop being fun and start being scary?

So, coming back to relationships, I realize that maybe women don’t always have to be tamed by men. Maybe they are just meant to run free. And one fine day, they might run into that man who would calm them, or someone just as wild to run with them (I’m lucky to be here!). Maybe all men are drugs. Some get you to calm down and the others get you so high, there's never coming down again!

I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it! Are there some women put in the world just to make you feel bad about yourself? You know, the prim and proper ones, who strut their way to perfection, while I stumble my way. Sigh…

I'm thinking balls are to men what purses are to women. It's just a little bag, but we feel naked in public without it! (Lol !)
As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the could’ve, should’ve, would’ve, strap on a pair and just keep going!

We like to think our problems can be blamed on a failure of interplanetary communication. Maybe men and women aren't from different planets as pop culture would have us believe. Maybe we live a lot closer to each other. Perhaps, dare I even say it, in the same postal code! I guess it's easier than admitting we’re all earthlings, and we haven’t a clue. Lol ! Think about it…..

Wanna Break Free.....

All that I ask for,
Is a few minutes to breathe,
Some time to myself,
Away from home,
People surround me,
They question what I think,
They reason my every move,
They wanna know everything.
Who am I talking to,
Why do I look outside,
What am I doing,
The questions never stop.
I feel like screaming,
But no one can hear,
Coz they fall for the fake smile I wear,
Whenever they are near,
Every minute gets more frustrating,
I feel like breaking free,
I long to spread my wings and fly,
To laugh, to just be me.

Help Me...!!

I’m currently suffering from a writer’s block. I really can’t think of anything to write about…hope it goes away soon. From the past 3-4 days I have been opening and cancelling the new post link coz I’m really lost for words.
Well this is the best that I can come up with.

Weird stuff about me:
1) I cannot cross roads. I require someone with me to do so. Sometimes I wait for people to arrive so that I have company crossing.

2) I cannot argue with someone for peanuts. The best comeback I have is “Shut Up!” or "Get Lost"

3) I depend completely on my friends. Most of my decisions are made only after I ask my friends. I don’t know what I’ll do without them. (I seriously have to stop doing this so often).

4) I sometimes wake up at 2 a.m in the morning to listen to my brother sleep talk. Very interesting..(I have heard sleep talks about pokemon, bandits, dragons and simple plan!) I love doing this.

5) I love giving surprises. But most of my plans get foiled due to something or the other. I love the look of happiness and surprise on people’s face.

6) I can play Counter Strike better than most of the guys in my college. (well, the guys find it intimidating and the girls find it weird.)

7) I love sms-ing! There is not a single day when I don’t message someone. I feel my day is incomplete without it.

8) I sound like Elmer Fudd when I wake up from my sleep. It takes me half an hour to get my voice back.

Thats all! Hope I get over this block.

Blogger Accolades..!!

I was given the following awards by my sweet blog-buddy "The Passionate Bookworm". These are my first awards and they will always be special to me. Thanks a lot dear..

The Honest Scrap Award:



The Friend Award:





The Lemonade Award:



I would like to present these awards to my favorite blog-buddies...


Crowsciousness
My Life, etc.....
scarlett's walk
Are U Kidding me ??
Clever Girl Goes Blog
frustration is just the beginning of medicine
With a Dash of Panache
Live While You Are Alive
I loved three men called Pablo.
She Gave Me The Keys


Once you have received an award, pass it on to 10 more blog-buddies. Enjoy guys....

TRIBUTE TO A BEST FRIEND..

TRIBUTE TO A BEST FRIEND..

As I pass time at home,
The sunlight streams in from the windows,
And lights up that vacant place on the floor,
Where I recall you used to rest in content,
The soft noises of our footsteps on the floor,
Are so dreary and silent,
As compared to the happy scampering sound of your feet,
In every room, all around me.
The bizarre things which used to make you bark,
And the things which made you scared,
I treasure every moment of your company,
And you know, it will always be there.
But I will take that unfilled space on that floor,
The unused dish in the kitchen,
The cute little toys you used to play with,
And all the things you have bitten.
I'll keep them all for you, my buddy
Swathe it with all my love,
Shield it with my heart and soul,
Until the time we both meet above.

Miss you, pal!


(P.S- I hope you are hand-fed bone-less chicken pieces up there too!)

THE COW THEORY....!!

WORLD IDEOLOGIES EXPLAINED WITH REFERENCE TO TWO COWS!


SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

NAZISM:
You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.

PURE ANARCHY:
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbours try to take the cows and kill you

TOTALITARIANISM:
You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.


AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

PAKISTANI SYSTEM:
You have two cows. One is owned by US and the other is controlled by the Landlords.


A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You feed them sheep brains. Both go mad. The government doesn't do anything.


ENVIRONMENTALISM:
You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.


DUBAI SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all magazines. You create a ' Cow City ' or ' Milk Village ' for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legit and shady investors who hope to re -sell the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two years time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cow first to attract media attention.


SHARJAH SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You sell them to an investor in Dubai . The cows get stuck in traffic between Sharjah and Dubai and die. You have zero cows now.



ABUDHABI SYSTEM:
You have two cows. So what? We have Oil.

Update!!

PAVITRA-ISM:
You have two cows. They wander on the streets of Mumbai with all the other cows, stopping traffic (or directing traffic), leaving land-mines on roads, eating out of the garbage can and no one finds it weird..!!





WHICH SYSTEM DO YOU PREFER????????

MANAGEMENT LESSONS...!!

Hey Guys,
Heres something for you'll to have a good laugh...!! (useful too..!!)


Lesson 1:


A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel, "

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"


Moral of the story

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time,you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


*********

Lesson 2:


A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129 It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.


*********

Lesson 3:


A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."

Puff! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."

Puff! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story

Always let your boss have the first say.


*********

Lesson 4:


An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


*********

Lesson 5:


A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey,"but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.

They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story

BullShit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


*********

Lesson 6:


A little bird was flying south for the Winter.It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of this story

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!