Are we in control?

I was staring out of my bedroom window, day dreaming as usual. I was watching a pigeon cooing merrily, sitting on a bush. Suddenly a cat appeared out of nowhere and grabbed the pigeon and began eating it (Yuck! I know).

It made me think, was the pigeon destined for such a fate? What would have happened if it had decided not to sit on a bush and sit on a tree branch instead? My little brother unfortunately was sitting in my room. I asked him, “Does free will exist? Or is everything pre-destined?” I got a long snore as a reply. Humph.

I ponder on….A seed is destined to grow into a plant or a tree. But what if it gets little or no water? It might not grow into a big, beautiful tree it had been destined to turn into. It might turn into a dry and unhealthy tree. Some factors do govern its growth. Ok, enough of gyaan! :D

What I’m trying to say is that people tend to make mistakes. But they prevent themselves from making the same mistakes again and again, thus changing the course of destiny. People CANNOT learn from their mistakes unless they have the free will to change their behavior. So I guess we are partly in control, aren’t we?

I ponder on…….and finally fall asleep. I dream of crazy cats haunting the street – attacking people. But people react in different manners. Some go about their work as usual, some refuse to leave the house, some have an armor to protect themselves. I don’t know whether it’s connected to free will in any way. But it made me wonder, maybe it’s better to make a difference in your life, improvise on every task that is thrown at you. By merely existing in the world, flowing with the tide, it’s a real waste of free will, isn’t it?

I guess we are destined to do something. Our free will just fine tunes it a little bit!

Let me reverse the question a bit. If everything was according to free will, what should you be doing right now?

A Mature Conversation!

Hey Guys! I read this somewhere. Hope you'll enjoy it..!

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'
Oh, I don't know', said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?'
'OK,' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'
The stranger thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea,'
To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?'

Hahahaha..!

Terrible Coincidence??

June 26th:

Walking down the street, they were behaving like lunatics singing “Blame it on the Boogie” by Jackson Five out loud. They were on their way home from a local club. It was 2.20 a.m. They were having a discussion about which is the best Jackson 5 song ever.
“Isn’t Jackson 5 dead?” She asked.
“No dude, Jermaine and Tito are still alive. I don't know about the rest” her friend answered.
Just two lines….uncanny isn’t it?
1. It was the first time they had ever sung this song together.
2. She accidently forgot MJ even though he was alive and his music immortal.
3. It was 2.20 am IST.
4. 2.30 am IST—Jackson passes away.

Eerie, isn't it?

Are you clumsy too…??

Sigh. I hate being so clumsy. Although I provide a funny incident and am a part of interesting stories in silent moments, I am not actually proud of it. In college, I have to bang my leg somewhere or trip over something. My lab coat always gets stuck at door handles resulting in broken buttons or torn pockets. And at least once a week I spend time sewing buttons on to it again. I cannot eat properly with a fork and a spoon and have to eventually resort to eating with my hands. I knock over coffee cups. I forget that my cell phone is kept on my lap and I stand up. I get shampoo in my eyes every time I take a hair bath. I spill something or the other on myself whenever I wear white. I have even banged my head on to a clean window! I have banged my shoulder onto door frames many times. The worst part about everything is that I laugh aloud when something silly happens to me. Not because I find it funny, but I try to hide my embarrassment when I do that. I have hit my head while getting out of the car and slammed the car door on to my fingers. I trip while walking almost every day. I have kind of desensitized my parents to loud bangs and crashes. When someone asks me how I got a bruise or a scratch, my answer is “I don’t know!” I can be elegant and graceful when it comes to writing, coz whenever I make a horrible mistake, there is always a backspace button waiting patiently for me. But in real life, I feel so ham-fisted and clumsy. I guess writing chose me instead of the other way!

A tribute to the Invincible King of Pop…

I just put on the news and was shocked to see the headlines “King of Pop dies at 50.” It really made me very sad coz I really was a big fan of him. From the smash hits such as “Black or White” and “They don’t really care about us” and “Bad” to the invention of the moon walk, this sensational singer did it all. He broke all the possible barriers through his songs and he’ll always be remembered. He brought the world together with his music. In spite of having a bad reputation when it came to his personal life, his music overshadowed everything. His death has been a major loss for everyone throughout the world and for music. Michael Jackson, you will be missed…
This is for you Jackson…

Jackson was a THRILLER.
But he really was a SMOOTH CRIMINAL,
He was BAD,
He was DANGEROUS,
He once saw a PRETTY YOUNG THING (PYT),
And he didn’t care whether she was BLACK OR WHITE
He told her I JUST CANT STOP LOVING YOU
He told us “I want to ROCK WITH YOU”
Jackson, YOU ROCK MY WORLD,
Now we all just REMEMBER THE TIME…

Saving You The Trouble.....

Whenever you are in trouble, don’t panic. Just calm down and count to five and there you go, everything is going to be alright. She hated this statement. She thought, “When my life is spiraling crazily out of control, why the hell should I count to five?? Have you ever experienced this? Has your life ever gone so out of hand that you would love to stay in the darkness and drown in your tears? Well, join the gang! I’m the founder by the way!"

**********************************

She sat there and looked up. She smiled. “There you are. You were never a great friend, you know. Have you ever faced such lunatic problems in life? I don’t think so. You look like someone whose has never had one hair out of place. Just perfect! Ahh…there comes that smile of yours. You like being called perfect, don’t you? You know, mom doesn’t like you. And I really don’t know why. She tells me to stay away from you. But…you’re so faultless and ideal. You understand me so well. Wait a second, I’ll be back, Moms calling..!”

**********************************

She came back hurriedly.
“Ah…that was close. Mom heard voices. She was asking who I was talking to. I told her I was watching TV. Don’t worry, I didn’t give you away. She would freak if she knew I was talking to you. She hates you. But how would she understand? You are the only friend that I have got! God! I hate being so pathetic. I hate being me! You don’t know how hard it is to be someone normal! Every morning, I don’t want to get up. I want to be you. They say I am going through a “dark phase”. Well, at least my therapist says so. But what does that idiot know? One degree doesn’t stop him from being an idiot, does it? Do you think it’s easy loving yourself? You know what I wanna be? I wanna be NUMB. I don’t wanna feel anything. I wanna be you. You know something, I bet mom likes you better than me, with your perfect everything. You made me like this. But mom, she cannot see all this. I know she hates me. I hate you. Well, I hope the two of you live happily ever after in your fucking world!

***CRASH****

There you go. I’m gone now. It’s so simple. One shard of broken glass can make your life so much better.
Oh fuck! The mirror! Damn. Moms going to kill me for this. Ohh wait a minute, she won’t have to. I already did that for her.!

What has bollywood come to?

It’s been about 10 days since the multiplex strike has been called off. But just when the Mumbai crowd seem to heave a sigh of relief, they are treated to two disaster movies- Kal Kissne Dekha (which I have not watched coz I don’t even like the title of the movie) and Paying Guest. Talking about paying guest, I was one of the courageous people who went to see the movie. I was also one of the first people to leave the theater during intermission. But the movie does serve as a good bait for all of us to wait for the big movies to come out (I hope they do well). The comedy is pathetic, although a few scenes in the first half an hour make you smile (Just smile). The rest of the movie makes you feel run over by a car again and again and again. The movie tries to compete with the sleekness of Dostana, but never manages to come even close to it. The comedy is forced on to you and it looks like the director and the actors struggle to make you laugh. The dialogues suck and so does the music. To cut a long story short, this movie makes you pay for getting bored. Hope someone breaks the bad spell of movies out lately.

Thats ME!!

Sometimes people wonder where my secret lies,
Coz I don’t have the looks that catch the eye,
I am not extremely pretty or a model size zero,
I try to be modest, but they think that I lie,
They say that I am a mystery, a treasure chest,
But even though I tell them the truth, they can never see,
I tell them; maybe it’s the sparkle of my eyes,
The stride of my step, the curl of my lips,
The arch of my back, the light in my smile,
The click of my heels, like happy feet!
They shake their heads and are still unaware,
They try to find more, but there is nothing there,
They stand mesmerized,
My head is not bowed, I never shout to catch attention,
I don’t talk real loud,
But when I pass by, it ought to make you proud!
Coz, I’m a woman.
Phenomenally,
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me!

Unadulterated Love!

It is said that “Humans are ruled by emotions and animals are ruled by instinct”. Animals buddy-up with their owners only because they know they would get food and shelter. These statements come from those people who never have had close contact or have owned any animal.

Why would a cat jump up and run to you and purr when you call out its name? Why would a dog greet you so excitedly and wag its tail every time he sees you? Although cats and dogs love differently, they do show love.
Cats are more independent animals and will show love and affection on their conditions. A cat will come when called (yes, they can be trained!), but that does not necessarily mean that he/she is “in the mood for love”. Though some cats like to snuggle up to their owners for hours, some give you short bursts of affection only. If you annoy your cat, she might ignore you for hours, even days (Yeah, I have been here before!). Cats are not quick to forgive and forget, but they are loyal. An abused cat might try to escape, to run away from you, a cat that is just annoyed because it dislikes brushing or nail clipping will ignore you, but still love you.
If this is not love….then what can you call it..??

Here is a video that brought tears to my eyes. I would love to share it with you’ll (although some of you’ll must have already seen it)!

My first attempt at 55 - Fiction!

YOUR PRESENCE:

Scurrying around the house in the midst of some work, she stepped on something soft and furry.


She shrieked in fear, “Oh! I’m so sorry Sally!”


She looked down. It was only the kitchen mat.


She sighed.


“I miss you fur-ball!”

To My Ghost Wanderer.......

See how the sun slays the moon every morning,
How the inky black sky is throttled by the rays of the blazing sun,
How the nocturnal animals have to scurry for their life at the sign of light,
If they actually made peace with each other, would we still have night and day?
Do the sun and the moon actually fight a battle for reign while we are in peaceful slumber?
Every morning, the sun rises and drives my sanity away.
I am insane, I am scared, but the world isn’t a place for cowards,
I have to hurry, I fall and I have to get up as the world isn’t a place for the aching beings.
However, I am a part of this world,
The sunrise, it isn’t mine,
But I make peace with its golden rays,
Which passes over me, creating a mask, it gets me through another day.
I close my eyes, my mind wanders,
Through traffic, houses, the concrete jungle, friends,
My mind wanders to you my love, your smile which makes my day, my ghost wanderer,
For once, I feel this sunrise is going to be different,
The day is going to be mine, and mine alone.
I dream of you every night, and my dream dies a temporary death every morning,
As the sun takes command, you come back as a day dream,
Do you ever wonder what would happen if the sun never rose,
And we both could sit in our corners of the world and dream about each other?
I know you would like that,
I feel it’s more than just telepathy,
We would be together, my ghost vagabond,
As the sun rises, I suffer from withdrawal symptoms,
I need to get high, I need the drug,
You are my drug honey,
We are all on drugs, aren’t we?
Emotional, material, or plain old pot,
We inject it, smoke it, feel it,
We get high,
We come to a point where we can’t get any higher,
You are like that, my love,
Running through my veins, a part of me,
In unspoken words,
In silent glances,
In the sunsets,
In the moment suspended in time,
That never seems to pass,
Are you like me?
What is your drug, my love?

Little Red goes Riding..!

On a blistering hot summer day, Miss Lola Reddy, also known as Little Red (mostly because she wore a trademark bright red mini skirt which complimented her sexy legs) was on her way to meet her best friend Janet who was admitted at Holy Cross hospital as she had contracted Malaria. Little red decided to go walking coz her sexy legs required some toning up.


She brushed her long black hair and applied mascara and lip-gloss, wore her red skirt and strutted her way in red high heels. On her way, she passed a Café Coffee Day. Outside the coffee shop were a group of notorious guys with their gang leader B.B Wolf. Now that particular coffee shop was a haven for all the “Chapris” of the area. You know what I’m talking about – the ones who are so full of themselves that just because they think they are God’s gift to women, everyone else should think so too. According to B.B wolf he was the ladies’ man! Like a wolf he eyed the young beauties in the neighborhood. And the answer to his success rate with women is – rich dad!


On spotting Lil’ Red strut her stuff across the street, he smiled menacingly. His prey had been spotted. Now to move in for the kill… Slowly he pulled up alongside her on his vintage Harley (typical old school guy!)

“Hey babe! Wanna ride of your lifetime?” he asked, with a sexy (according to him) grin on his face, his voice as smooth as velvet.

“Umm… I’m actually heading somewhere important” – Vroom! Vroom! Red was cut off by the revving of the Harley engine. He was really starting to annoy her. But the bike was AWESOME!

“Oh come on! I won’t sink my teeth into you. Let me at least drop you to where you’re headed.”

“I really shouldn’t. I’m in a big hurry…” and then she stopped talking.
Red had a smile on her face. She was checking him out and thinking something. You’ll come to know soon enough. She accepted his offer and hopped on to his ride.


Looking immensely pleased with himself, the Wolf rode his bike. Throughout the journey Wolf spoke only about himself (a very appealing topic in his opinion) while Red was rolling her eyes. Finally, they reached the hospital. Red couldn’t help but notice that Wolf was heavily loaded. Her eyes roamed over all his possessions – the latest cell phone, the funky Ray Ban aviators, an expensive looking wallet, a watch from Fossil- no doubt stuffed with loads of cash and of course, the Harley… too bad he was all style, no brains.


Wolf wasn’t too keen on letting Red go so easily and so, he eagerly offered to wait for her while she went up to visit her friend. At this, Red batted her mascara-ed eyelashes (works every time ladies!) and requested him to wait for around 10 minutes while she went and checked up on her friend. Wolf eagerly agreed and patiently waited for her…


When Red came back down, she flirtatiously suggested that they go to the nearby deserted park and spend a little time to get to know each other. Wolf’s excitement knew no bounds. So, to the park they went. However, he decided at the last minute to quickly go to the nearby florist and surprise Red with a few flowers. So she went to the park alone and waited for him. When he came back, he found a solitary figure, sitting among the bushes. He decided to play a little game…

“My, what beautiful eyes you have!”

“The better to see you with darling…”

He stepped a little closer… “What luscious lips you have baby!”

“To kiss you with sweetheart…”

He stepped even closer to Red and that was when something shiny caught his eye.

“Hey, what’s that in your hand?”

“It’s a knife and it’s perfect to rob you with baby!!!”


And Red whisked out a small but rather deadly looking knife and swiftly brought it to Wolf’s throat. Poor Wolf completely lost his head and tried to run away. However Red reacted faster and knocked him out. Red quickly took away his valuables and pocketed the keys to his Harley.

Red was never to be found after that…and poor Wolf got amnesia due to the blow to his head. Last I heard, he was still recovering in some classy hospital. However, I do hope, Red’s treating that Harley right!!


P.S. Reports claim that she had undergone plastic surgery to keep her identity discreet.
Here is her latest picture.

Yikes..!

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters restaurant.

The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom?"

The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."

"Well, in that case I'll just look the other way," said the nun.
So, the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.

She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?"

"But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "Every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out."

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe...

Love is.....

Hey guys...!! I'm in love with the 'love is' cartoon strips..! Here are some of my favorite ones....

LOVE IS...



when you can’t get him out of your mind.

LOVE IS...



toasting to celebrate the coming of spring.

LOVE IS...



“that super kiss” given at twelve o’clock on the New Year’s day.


LOVE IS....



bring out the best in each other.

LOVE IS...



the sun shining bright in a rainy day.

Maybe we are all just Earthlings...

Hey guys! After a long era of exams, I’m finally free with two whole months of vacations (Aww! I love my life!). Anyway, my idleness got me thinking about various things and eventually I got thinking about relationships.

Well, there are so many kinds of relationships- those which give a kick to your life, the old and familiar ones, the exotic ones, the ones which take you far away from where you started and those which pull you back to the starting line. And in this roller-coaster of life, if you find someone you love, then isn’t life fabulous?

When you were a child, life was all about having fun and playing pranks. Now that we are adults, we have turned into more cautious and careful beings. We think before we take that giant leap in life. Sometimes, we even refrain from taking that leap because there is no one at the other end to catch us. Well, I guess life was never made with a safety net. When did I grow up? When did life stop being fun and start being scary?

So, coming back to relationships, I realize that maybe women don’t always have to be tamed by men. Maybe they are just meant to run free. And one fine day, they might run into that man who would calm them, or someone just as wild to run with them (I’m lucky to be here!). Maybe all men are drugs. Some get you to calm down and the others get you so high, there's never coming down again!

I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it! Are there some women put in the world just to make you feel bad about yourself? You know, the prim and proper ones, who strut their way to perfection, while I stumble my way. Sigh…

I'm thinking balls are to men what purses are to women. It's just a little bag, but we feel naked in public without it! (Lol !)
As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the could’ve, should’ve, would’ve, strap on a pair and just keep going!

We like to think our problems can be blamed on a failure of interplanetary communication. Maybe men and women aren't from different planets as pop culture would have us believe. Maybe we live a lot closer to each other. Perhaps, dare I even say it, in the same postal code! I guess it's easier than admitting we’re all earthlings, and we haven’t a clue. Lol ! Think about it…..

Wanna Break Free.....

All that I ask for,
Is a few minutes to breathe,
Some time to myself,
Away from home,
People surround me,
They question what I think,
They reason my every move,
They wanna know everything.
Who am I talking to,
Why do I look outside,
What am I doing,
The questions never stop.
I feel like screaming,
But no one can hear,
Coz they fall for the fake smile I wear,
Whenever they are near,
Every minute gets more frustrating,
I feel like breaking free,
I long to spread my wings and fly,
To laugh, to just be me.

Help Me...!!

I’m currently suffering from a writer’s block. I really can’t think of anything to write about…hope it goes away soon. From the past 3-4 days I have been opening and cancelling the new post link coz I’m really lost for words.
Well this is the best that I can come up with.

Weird stuff about me:
1) I cannot cross roads. I require someone with me to do so. Sometimes I wait for people to arrive so that I have company crossing.

2) I cannot argue with someone for peanuts. The best comeback I have is “Shut Up!” or "Get Lost"

3) I depend completely on my friends. Most of my decisions are made only after I ask my friends. I don’t know what I’ll do without them. (I seriously have to stop doing this so often).

4) I sometimes wake up at 2 a.m in the morning to listen to my brother sleep talk. Very interesting..(I have heard sleep talks about pokemon, bandits, dragons and simple plan!) I love doing this.

5) I love giving surprises. But most of my plans get foiled due to something or the other. I love the look of happiness and surprise on people’s face.

6) I can play Counter Strike better than most of the guys in my college. (well, the guys find it intimidating and the girls find it weird.)

7) I love sms-ing! There is not a single day when I don’t message someone. I feel my day is incomplete without it.

8) I sound like Elmer Fudd when I wake up from my sleep. It takes me half an hour to get my voice back.

Thats all! Hope I get over this block.

Blogger Accolades..!!

I was given the following awards by my sweet blog-buddy "The Passionate Bookworm". These are my first awards and they will always be special to me. Thanks a lot dear..

The Honest Scrap Award:



The Friend Award:





The Lemonade Award:



I would like to present these awards to my favorite blog-buddies...


Crowsciousness
My Life, etc.....
scarlett's walk
Are U Kidding me ??
Clever Girl Goes Blog
frustration is just the beginning of medicine
With a Dash of Panache
Live While You Are Alive
I loved three men called Pablo.
She Gave Me The Keys


Once you have received an award, pass it on to 10 more blog-buddies. Enjoy guys....

TRIBUTE TO A BEST FRIEND..

TRIBUTE TO A BEST FRIEND..

As I pass time at home,
The sunlight streams in from the windows,
And lights up that vacant place on the floor,
Where I recall you used to rest in content,
The soft noises of our footsteps on the floor,
Are so dreary and silent,
As compared to the happy scampering sound of your feet,
In every room, all around me.
The bizarre things which used to make you bark,
And the things which made you scared,
I treasure every moment of your company,
And you know, it will always be there.
But I will take that unfilled space on that floor,
The unused dish in the kitchen,
The cute little toys you used to play with,
And all the things you have bitten.
I'll keep them all for you, my buddy
Swathe it with all my love,
Shield it with my heart and soul,
Until the time we both meet above.

Miss you, pal!


(P.S- I hope you are hand-fed bone-less chicken pieces up there too!)

THE COW THEORY....!!

WORLD IDEOLOGIES EXPLAINED WITH REFERENCE TO TWO COWS!


SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

NAZISM:
You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.

PURE ANARCHY:
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbours try to take the cows and kill you

TOTALITARIANISM:
You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.


AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

PAKISTANI SYSTEM:
You have two cows. One is owned by US and the other is controlled by the Landlords.


A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You feed them sheep brains. Both go mad. The government doesn't do anything.


ENVIRONMENTALISM:
You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.


DUBAI SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all magazines. You create a ' Cow City ' or ' Milk Village ' for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legit and shady investors who hope to re -sell the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two years time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cow first to attract media attention.


SHARJAH SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You sell them to an investor in Dubai . The cows get stuck in traffic between Sharjah and Dubai and die. You have zero cows now.



ABUDHABI SYSTEM:
You have two cows. So what? We have Oil.

Update!!

PAVITRA-ISM:
You have two cows. They wander on the streets of Mumbai with all the other cows, stopping traffic (or directing traffic), leaving land-mines on roads, eating out of the garbage can and no one finds it weird..!!





WHICH SYSTEM DO YOU PREFER????????

MANAGEMENT LESSONS...!!

Hey Guys,
Heres something for you'll to have a good laugh...!! (useful too..!!)


Lesson 1:


A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel, "

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"


Moral of the story

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time,you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


*********

Lesson 2:


A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129 It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.


*********

Lesson 3:


A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."

Puff! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."

Puff! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story

Always let your boss have the first say.


*********

Lesson 4:


An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


*********

Lesson 5:


A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey,"but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.

They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story

BullShit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


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Lesson 6:


A little bird was flying south for the Winter.It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of this story

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!